clairvoyentvale

Music consumes again.

Fear of regret, anxiety. Everything buried under its weight.

And I ask repeatedly why.

Why why why does it make me feel this way?

It’s the only thing that truly speaks to me now.

I’m deaf to everything else. And it hurts because it feels like grasping at straws – a lost passion.

“How can I reconnect with you?” I ask. “What do I have to give for you to love me again? For us to communicate in the same language?”

Maybe I feel its rejection because I stopped trying.

It wanted to give me everything. But I pulled away.

Because of society’s expectations. What is “responsible.”

My lost faith in myself. No confidence.

But I only feel my exhales when I breathe through you.

So maybe this is a tribute. A dedication. Can I pledge my loyalty to you?

Will you take me back?

But how do I begin again? Reignite the spark?

If I promise to give you everything that I am, can you make me whole again?

If I give up on my goals, aspirations –

Just experience every hardship, every moment with you.

I will find you again in the dark.

And then my path will be illuminated once more.